Are You Willing to Live For Your Loved Ones?
Living Better, Longer and Happier for Our Loved Ones
"People often say they are willing to die for their loved ones. But how about being willing to live better and longer for them?” - The Wobbly Ninja
I read the quote from The Wobbly Ninja Instagram account, which has become a creative outlet for my friend, Indra Gunawan. I know Indra from a designer toy collector community. He’s a toy collector and, at one point in his life, was also a toy designer. He created a happy kaiju who enjoys drinking matcha called Gacha. I have one of his Gacha and still is one of my most prized collection.
Before seeing Indra's post, I had read the quote somewhere else, and it struck me deeply. Indra then shared a few things he does just to move his body more often. Simple activities like walking to and from the office, doing more house chores, parking farther away so he can walk more and reach his 5,000 daily steps target, and using the stepper rather than sitting while watching a series at home. He does these to live longer and healthier for his family. Please go find him on Instagram @thewobblyninja
I’m touched by the caption, reminding me of my own aspirations. Going to festivals and exploring the world when we’re an old couple. We both love to travel and we love music so we think it would be a nice thing to have these aspirations of living longer, healthier and happier with my spouse.
I developed those aspirations after seeing a senior caucasian couple holding hands as they entered a hotel in Singapore. They appeared to be in their 70s or maybe early 80s, but they looked so happy and mindfully took the stairs to their room on the next floor, probably after walking around to enjoy the vibrant part of the city. I want to be like them.
Then, at a festival in London, I saw another couple with happy wrinkles and shiny white hair dancing gracefully during Rod Stewart's performance. Rod himself was 64 during the show, where he invited Ron Wood from The Rolling Stones to perform an upbeat "Stay With Me" song. The song was released in 1971 and written by Ron and Rod when they were band mates as Faces. They were old (and getting older now), but still dancing and singing in great condition.
I love open-air music festivals and often see senior couples, especially when I’m at festivals abroad. That is why I keep telling friends I meet at festivals: I want to be able to visit music festivals and travel with my other half until we are very, very old. But that won't happen unless I start living better today.
I was diagnosed with chronic illnesses that I have to bear all my life, so I have to start now.
In order to start the good habits, I began reading resources and having discussions with my fiancée, experts and friends. While we have our differences in preferred practices, I learned that, in summary, we need to balance physical, mental, and spiritual activities to lead a happier and healthier life.
Here are a few things I can share based on what I’ve found and discovered. Feel free to share your point of view in the comments so we can discuss and learn together.
Physical
For physical balance I've been trying to become more mindful about what I eat and a balanced diet. Currently cutting most of the carb and sugar. You can do your own research for what kind of diet that will fit you.
I also push myself to walk outside for half an hour and to reach between 5-10K steps each day. While also pushing myself to regularly train the muscles with weights. Not an easy thing to do, but I'm trying to make this a habit.
Not to forget routine health check-ups, once a year if you’re currently healthy with no chronic condition. But maybe more often if we have our daily medication, you can consult your doctor for this.Remember to rest and sleep well. I suggest you Google the benefits of a good night's sleep. One thing is for sure: you will have a clearer mind after a good sleep, and a clear mind plays an important role in your overall well-being. Exercise and good diet will help you to improve your sleep quality.
Have a nice sleep. Mental and Emotion
Many of our illnesses are affected by our mental and emotional state, so stress management has a very important role on our overall well being. I tracked my stress level using a smart watch, and will take a break for a while to breathe. Learning how to breathe has many benefits, at a more advanced level, you might be able to do self healing.
Having hobbies and joining a fun community will also help your mental and emotional well being. Just make sure that you join a community with a positive attitude to enjoy the hobbies that spark joy.
Work on your relationships, with your loved ones and people that matter. Reach out to your good friends for coffee and conversations. Enjoy more quality time and conversation with your spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend. It feels good knowing that someone cares for us.
Leveling up your current skills or learning a new skill by practice or taking courses will also beneficials to your well being. You might also benefit your mind and mental well being by writing and reading. Reading and writing more will enable people to communicate in a variety of ways, build knowledge of a variety of topics, improve memory function, and greater feelings of happiness.Spiritual
Lastly, I committed to train my spiritual skills by regularly meditating and praying. Currently trying to routinely join the weekly masses at Church. Praying and meditating can foster a sense of connection, whether it's to a higher power or to our inner self, finds what important in life or our values, also can reduce feelings of isolation, anxiety and fear as well. If you’re not a religious person, meditation will still benefit your well being by building a connection to your inner self.
These changes are not easy to make. I wrote this post as a reminder for myself, hoping I can form these habits and lead a more joyful life. Yes, I want to ensure that I’m doing this for myself first.
A few months ago, my soon-to-be wife went on a meditation retreat and improved her well-being before she asked and sponsored me and her parents to join the retreat. I am very grateful for the opportunity. Because if we want to live for our loved ones, we should first live for ourselves and inspire them to love and enjoy life. She showed me her determination to improve her well-being, and it inspired me a lot to improve mine. I will not take it for granted and will start building good habits, one by one, at my own pace.
And hopefully, we can be in a big park with fresh air, enjoying a good music festival during our 70s and 80s, recalling good memories from our past decades and having great times.
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